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| Faith produces patience. Patience is rooted in faithfulness. Cool. Father, I have faith in your promises, in Your plans. I will wait on it. Psalm 27.
There's this promise that I know you've promised me, and it feels like the greatest yearning of my heart. I want to live and breathe the most understandable, the most beautiful, the most special parable you have allowed your people to experience. I am waiting, because You are faithful.
How blessed I am because I know that You are God. | | |
| Today is just one of those days. | | |
| I have been down lately but my insufficient cup of orange juice in the morning when i read the Word of God has really given me some vitamin C.
There have been so many days where i quietly, sometimes loudly, proclaim that i'm ready to go home, real home. But i have been very convicted by the Word of God as i read, not for the first time i might add, about the Israelites wandering in the wilderness without anything too delicious to eat and without water to drink cry out to God saying, "Why didn't God just leave us in Egypt as slaves instead He brings us out here to the desert to die? We should have died with our brothers when they were killed!" Something along those lines. So essentially, they wish they could have just died instead of being subjected to this sad life. And this reminded of me. Whoa, how we are so much like the Israelites!
I want to go home, but in saying this will i go? Would a child of God talk like this, or would a child of flesh say this? After reading all those passages about the whining and complaining of the Israelites, it finally dawned on me. I am only after selfishness. I am not heaven bound, not God glorifying when these words spit out from my mouth. For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34).
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it (1 Corinthians 10:13). There is nothing on earth that should tear me from the Savior. So a bit of discomfort, a bit of sadness, a bit of weariness is simply "what is common to man." And are we common men? No! we are co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).
I read today about a cool guy named david brainerd who was a missionary to the new england indians 250 years ago who suffered such great adversity and depression. This is a quote from him:
"Oh, that i might be a flaming fire in the service of the Lord. Here i am, Lord, send me; send me to the ends of the earth... send me from all this is called earthly comfort; send me even to death itself if it be in Thy service and to promote Thy kingdom."
May we continually, courageously, eagerly, and lovingly share encouragements with one another in the family of such an Almighty God!
<3 your sister. | | |
| What? It's thursday already?
NICE! | | |
| I have three classes today. Praise God, I am exempt from my first class. And the other two, I will decide to not attend. Ever feel like school makes you dry? I feel like that. I feel dry, where I should be in communion with the Spirit, I am not. My daily readings seem not enough anymore. My prayers seem ineffective. My life feels empty. So, although this may not be the best decision, I will not go to school. I will listen to Bethany Dillon and Shane & Shane, and be still.
Life gets tough, outside of it all, outside of the mundane responsibilities, there are the occasional extras. Those extras are usually the most difficult, and this would be one of those times. When the walls of your nice home fall, and you are exposed to the hurt of the world. What else can you do except cry? Just a few seconds of a conversation pushes a big lump up to my throat and the feeling of deep despair, loneliness, and exhaustion take the form of small salt water droplets pouring from the eyes. I am tired of it all. Oh how in prayer, as i begin with 'thank You, Lord, for another day,' I stop and ask, 'Why? Why am I thankful for another day? Father, how ready I am to see you!' But, I am assured, 'My child, I want to use you.'
Through, the drought, I wait for rain. This is only but a season. But how gracious is our God, who says joy is for eternity.
"Lord, I want to yearn for You. I want to burn with passion over You, and only You! Lord, I want to yearn!" | | |
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